I painted this picture trying to express a whole tangle of emotions built up inside me. Longing for the Love of the Lord, feeling tentative and unsure of myself but knowing that His light and love is shinning down on me. With the first post I made about this picture it was just her, no light, and it felt like she was longing for something that was not being fulfilled. I still loved the painting that way very much but I couldn’t leave her longing forever with no hope of love. Now that the light has come into her picture she looks like she is basking in the tender, sweet love of the Lord. Longing fulfilled.
I love this whole Psalm, it is one of my favorites actually, but today I am only going to focus on a couple of the verses out of it, specifically 1, 2 and 7.
1As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. 2My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
7Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.
1 – As the deer pants for water – What an image! Death without Love – slow, painful death. My soul truly does pant after Love and only He can quench its thirst. Each day that goes by where I do not connect with Him brings me one step closer to that death. It is such a sad thing that I can go weeks with out Love not realizing just how thirsty and desperate my soul has become. Bitterness, sorrow, depression, anger – all these things creep in to replace Him the longer I am away.
How is it that I can know the tenderness of your Love and yet walk away from you? How can I taste the sweetness of your blessings and then fail to come away and spend time with you? What a silly, foolish creature I am!!!
7 – This verse perplexes me to no end. I am not sure exactly of its meaning but I know what my heart feels when I read this – “Deep calling to deep as your waves and billows wash over me” – my heart becomes inflamed with passion! An excited, hungry passion at the thought of Your waves and breakers crashing over me. I am sure there are bible scholars out there that may cringe at what I have to say about this verse – for all I know it could really be describing some horrible punishment or retribution! But none the less, when I read this verse all my mind can picture is my Love as an endless ocean washing over me, covering me completely, and striping away all my pain, sorrows, sins, everything that is not of Him. I read this verse and suddenly I feel His complete and total acceptance – I am fully covered, engulfed, immersed, submerged, LOST in HIM! My heart races, my palms sweat, I get weak in my knees and I long to feel that kind of love and know that one day in heaven I will.
Love, if I could put in a request for my dreams tonight it would be the one where I got to feel that love of yours towards me – yea that was a good one I’d like a repeat of. 🙂