Sadly, just trying to eat only when I am hungry and trying to guess which foods are healthy and hoping to lose weight hasn’t worked because I always feel hungry and I always choose the foods I am addicted to!! My food addiction causes me to feel hungry even when I am not. The last 4 days that I have cut myself off from those kinds of foods has shown just how much of a hold it has had on me. I have been plagued with a wide variety of symptoms including feeling like I am starving just a couple of minutes after eating a perfectly healthy meal void of addictions. So I have had to find another route to take on this journey of getting down to the real me.
The health plan I really want to follow is called “The P.I.N.K. Method” and you can find it here: www.PinkMethod.com, but since I don’t currently have $70 I can spend on it I am having to do my own modified version just based off the little bit that I know about it untill I can save up for it (or someone buys it for me for Christmas *hint*hint*). The friend who is doing it with me is lucky enough to actually have the program and it is working really good for her so far.
Basically what I am doing is trying to reset my metabolism as well as break my addiction. I am restricting myself to only eating a limited amount of fruit, lean meats (chicken and fish) and as many veggies as I can stomach. I am also drinking protein shakes between meals to try and keep my hunger at bay. I am not having any sugar, flour, corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, aspertain (I know it’s spelled wrong >.<), potatoes, pasta, beef, pork, fried foods, butter, milk, etc.
I know that the P.I.N.K. method is a lot more strict with their first couple of weeks but since I don’t have the book to go by I figured a broader approach would be less stressful but still get me some results. At this point even if I don’t lose any weight at first I would be very happy to be totally off sugar and the rest of my addiction combinations. Wait never mind who am I kidding I really want to lose weight too 😉
Usually I wait until the following day to write about how my weight loss plan is going but today was a bummer and couldn’t wait. Due to a series of unfortunate events I ended up away from work with all the kiddos and none of my prepared “safe” foods to eat at lunch time. I hadn’t had anything but an apple and an egg for breakfast and by 1pm I knew that if I didn’t eat something quick I was going to have a really hard time not eating one of the kids. My E.v.e. in particular was looky mighty tastey and she had been the one causing the most ruckus so I figured if I gobbled her up not only would I not feel like I was starving there would be a lot less pestering going on in the back of the van.
All the poor kids were hungry too and since any place with a drive through is totally off-limits I ended up stopping at Publix to try and find something. I got the kiddos their yummy lunches and found a little section of the pre-made sandwich cooler that had all these different salads in it. I picked a chickpea salad and read the ingredients carefully – nope nothing in it I couldn’t have! YAY! I love chickpeas so I was feeling pretty good about this. However, the package looked a little tampered with, one of the corners had been peeled up a little bit so I put that one back and grabbed the one behind it.
Once back at the house I passed out everyone’s lunch and started tarring into mine. I noticed that the “peas” were a bit smaller than I had expected and that the lid looked a little different than I had remembered but I didn’t even give it another thought until suddenly a headache hit me right between the eyes. “wait a second…..this isn’t right!” I totally panicked. I grabbed the lid to the salad and scanned the ingredients and right there in black in white it said “wheat” 😥 it wasn’t chick peas. I had grabbed a different salad than the one I had originally picked. This salad was made out of little pearls of pasta. I wanted to cry. Writing this now I still want to cry.
I still have the headache but I have decided not to let that little slip up steal the rest of my good eating day. I am going to have a delicious veggie bake when I get home. zucchini, yellow squash, egg-plant all sliced up and sautéed in garlic and tomato sauce with onion and all kinds of delicious spices.
I have had to battle against feeling really guilty. Why didn’t I pay attention? Did I subconsciously known and just choose to mess up? How could I let myself make a mistake like that after coming so far? And if I was going to accidentally eat something I’m not supposed to why couldn’t it have been something super delicious like chocolate? 😉 I know it wasn’t on purpose and all is not lost. unfortunately it looks like I have just gained back some of the withdrawal symptoms. This too shall pass.